Your honor. The charges against my client are ridiculous. All the evidence is circumstancial. The paint? What paint? Oh, that paint? Uhhhh, he simply fell in a puddle of gold paint. That has nothing to do with these paint sniffing charges:
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0721051gold1.html
Okay, so it has nothing to do with personal finance, but I did find it funny.