From this experience and from my own growing pains over the past few years I’ve determined that it all comes down to attitude.
If you think you can do something then you can surely do it. If you think your life is destined for eternal bad luck and you have the “never get ahead” mentality, then you’re never going to get ahead.
If you feel sorry for your circumstances then you’ll never have the strength to overcome them. If you look at your current circumstances with determination to make your life different, then YOU WILL make your life different.
The people who are successful are not successful because they are lucky. Their success boils down to two things: attitude and action.
And while action is a huge part of getting ahead of the game the sad truth is that you’re never going to take action if you have a bad (or self-defeating) attitude.
You’ve got to make a change, NOW.
From Personal Experience
I am not perfect (so, so far from it) but I can look back over the past few years of my life (which have been some of the hardest and absolute best) and see how my attitude has affected my outcome. It’s not always pretty.
Earning More Money – Year 2012 I was determined not to spend my whole life working two dead end day jobs to barely eek by. I started my freelance business and went full force working on it every extra second that my day allowed. In less than a year I was able to quit both day jobs.
Now let’s fast forward to 2014. There were so many months where my income just stagnated. While I said I wanted to earn more money my actions did not show it at all. I was comfortable and just cruising by even though I knew if I tried, I could do a lot better. I had lost my determination.
In November I set a huge goal and my determination came back and within the next month my income hit a new peak. As long as I keep that determination I’m confident that I will hit all of my financial goals for the year.
Creating Financial Stability – The entire reason I worked two jobs is because I wanted to give a good life to my babies. I didn’t want to be living paycheck to paycheck or living on credit. I wanted to be able to say “I got this.” And through hard work and determination I can now say that.
It wasn’t easy trying to save up a large emergency fund, while taking care of two kids, and earning in the range of $25k per year. But it was definitely possible.
To reach your financial goals you have to sacrifice.
I was recently very inspired by this post from FrugalWoods.
And here’s the excerpt from her post that I love:
“I don’t crave coffees out or new clothes because I know what it feels like to buy that stuff on a regular basis and I don’t want that more than I want financial independence. Mr. FW and I know how lovely it is to eat at a different local restaurant every week, but we don’t want that more than we want a homestead in the woods. I know what it feels like to buy as much thrift store clothing as I please, but I don’t want that more than the freedom from my 9-5.” Read the rest.
These people are financial rock stars and in my opinion it boils down to two things: attitude and action.
They’ve got the attitude perfected which is why they can so easily work toward their financial goals without even thinking of the sacrifices. Everything in life is a tradeoff. Period.
So, what do you want more than your free time watching TV? What do you want more than a Buddy Boy from Frisch’s? (Or am I the only one who struggles with giving up the Buddy Boy?) What are you willing to trade to get what you really want?
(And these trades aren’t always material items. You have to be willing to get overcome your fears and push yourself outside of your comfort zone. That’s how you grow as a person.)
You CONTROL Your Emotions
Depression. Any single parent knows when you transition from being married and having that support (even if it’s just a little) and then having to handle EVERYTHING by yourself (paying the bills, being a parent, keeping it together, cleaning the house, cooking supper, etc.) it is so hard.
After I got divorced there were many months where I wallowed in my own self-pity. If my kids were gone I’d sit and cry. Or I’d take a bottle of vodka (and I’m not a drinker!) down to my Dad’s pond sit there and get drunk by myself and think of how bad I had it. I was consumed in self-pity.
BUT when I decided that I had the ability to control my own emotions I turned it all around. I started a blog and focused my energy on something productive.
Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t all rainbows and sunshine. There were plenty of days where I still got depressed (hard to be away from your babies) but I continually worked on my goals and self-improvement and today I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.
I could’ve continued to sit around and feel sorry for myself and be envious of everyone who had a seemingly “better” life. Or I could get inspired and try to emulate others’ success. (If they can do something then you better believe I can too! ß—- That is the attitude you need.)
Remember What’s REALLY Important
At the end of the day you are the only person who knows what it’s important to you.
For me, it’s hands down family. All of my best memories in life have to do with family. I remember my brothers and I running around my Dad’s woods, riding the four-wheelers, fishing, sneaking our dogs in through my bedroom window after my Dad was asleep, and building bonfires at the pond with all of our friends as we hit the teenage years.
I want to make more memories like these with my kids. And I am determined that I will. (Hence, the goal to save $20k to go towards a down payment on a property.)
What is important to you? Job Freedom? Building an emergency fund? Starting a business? Moving out to the woods?
You’re the only who can decide. And once you have your goal in mind all you need to do is adopt “a no-one can stop me” attitude. I guarantee if you can dream it up you can do it.
You are the only person who is standing in the way of the life you want to live.
What do YOU want out of life and how will you make that happen?
Thank you so much for mentioning Frugalwoods–I’m so glad to hear that you enjoyed that post :). And, you’re so right about focusing on what’s truly important in life. Everything else is a (usually expensive) distraction from what we really want
“At the end of the day you are the only person who knows what it’s important to you.” So true. I wrote a post once called, “do you want to be rescued?” I think there are times where people hope (myself included) that somehow something magical will just happen out of the blue…kind of like The Secret. If I just wish enough something will happen. But people have their own crap to deal with and in the end all that’s left is you and how hard you are willing to work for it. Not that people won’t help, but they need to see your actions first. It can be a tough pill to swallow (especially if you are single or single with kids), but I’d rather say I tried my hardest than feel like a victim of my life.
This post is really thought-provoking! Attitude decides action. And when action is made, results will eventually show. Reading this post really makes me much more empowered and motivated!!!! Stick to the game plan and I believe I can make it!