You know something? Toys are dirt cheap. Ever since they started manufacturing them in foreign countries (think China, Taiwan etc) toys have continued their price decline. Combine low cost manufacturing with very large retail importers (think Walmart, Target, Costco etc) and you’ve got the recipe for low cost toys for kids. Why do I care, you ask? Well, it all goes back to my childhood, long before toys were all that cheap. I grew up next to a boy the same age as me. Every time his mother would get in the car to go somewhere, he would run as fast as he could to reach his driveway yelling, “Mom, get me a toy?” Without fail, and I’m being completely serious, his mom would always come back with a toy for him. Hell, she might have been going to the hair salon, but she’d go by the store and find something for him. Needless to say, he literally had just about every toy that was produced. Too bad his mother drove them in to deep debt to do this.
I, on the other hand, grew up in a house that had a few limits. For starters, our family didn’t have a lot of money. We ate a lot of store brand foods and seldom ate out. We only got a new toy on Christmas or our birthday. I spent a lot of time playing at his house, but he held those toys over my head like I was his personal whipping boy. I hated it, but it was the only way I got to play with cool new toys. I could always expect to play with last weeks toy, but that was good enough for me.
Well, years later, as I was going through high school, he dropped out. Probably because when his mother wasn’t buying toys for him, or getting him his nightly “take out” for dinner, she was trying to do his homework. At some point, I think the homework got hard enough that neither of them could do it. I don’t know what happened to him, but I’m certain he hasn’t learned all the right lessons about money that I want our daughter to learn.
So, why does this matter now? Well, I’ve found that our daughter gets a lot of toys. They are so cheap that we and our family, tend to pick them up more often than we’d like. On top of that, we have gotten a TON of “hand me down” toys. I’ve started to draw some correlations between our daughters childhood and my old neighbors. (Just in the area of toy acquisitions). So, we are now making a conscious effort not to buy these cheap toys. We’ll still take hand me down toys, but we won’t spend much on toys except for Christmas and birthdays. We want a new toy to be a little more special for her. If she is getting toys too often, we’re concerned she’ll learn to expect them and not appreciate them, or the money that it took to buy them.
Good post, Hazzard.
This is SUCH a big issue at our house. I find it very hard not to buy my son toys on a weekly basis. Luckily my partner keeps me in line by reminding me that we don’t have space for all his junk as it is.
But how to handle gifts? My sister gives him a new toy every time we see her (about once a month). I think she does this partly because she enjoys shopping for toys, partly because she loves him, and partly because when her kids were little she was on a very tight budget. Now she’s enjoying the benefits of so many years of being frugal, and she’s got enough money to indulge her nephew a little bit.
I’ve talked to her about it, and a few times I’ve asked her to take a break from the gifts for a while because my son was starting to ask every day “can I have a present?” But overall, I feel I have to let her show her love in the way that she wants to. It’s my job to talk to him about why we don’t buy as many toys as Auntie does (money), and what’s more important than new toys. And it’s also my job to weed the toy box as often as I need to to keep the volume under control.
Thanks for the comments Claire. It sounds very similiar to our house. :)
My wife and I both want to have a daughter someday, but we know that we better wait until we have the money to spoil her rotten. I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to say no to “Daddy, can I pwease have a toy?” Maybe I’ll answer back, “Okay, but you have to promise to stay away from boys forever and always be Daddy’s little girl.”
My oldest girl was not only the first grandchild on my side of the family, but the first great grandchild, too, so you know she got showered with gifts of all sorts. [Not to mention hand-me-downs from my husband’s side of the family, where she was not the first.]
But now just about everyone is trained to get her books if they want to scratch that itch and get her a gift. She still gets some toys, but now she gets showered with books. It seems to work out for everyone — I don’t feel the least bit bad about it, and she loves them. The only problem is keeping up with bookshelf space. Heh.
I feel you Hazzard. My wife and I are constantly duking it out over this issue of when to get our kids toys. Plus, it doesn’t help that my wife’s sister and her husband buy their kids a ton of toys all the time.
My sons bday is actually coming up and I’m most likely going to ask for contributions to his 529 plan. I figure that will provide a way for our relatives to give him presents, but at the same time avoid the toy overload.
Excellent post.
We do the new toy thing at mainly birthdays & christmas. With 3 children, we’d be broke quickly if we did the constant stream of new things. Not to mention losing floor splace to the overflow.
There are a couple of exceptions – I will gladly puchase Capt. Underpants, Harry Potter & Junie B. books, and replacements for games when too bent & frayed for play. We look at those as worthwhile investments though, and not just for the educational/family togetherness benefits. I can’t tell you how many times the game & book stockpile has saved us from shelling out for 5 movie tickets and snacks on a rainy weekend afternoon.
Plus, wanting the latest greatest toy is a great incentive for long term saving. Our 4 y.o. has been saving her money for a cheerleader bunny at build-a-bear for almost 5 mos. now. The $10 she gets from great grandpa on her birthday ought to put her at her goal. Can’t wait to take her & her hello kitty wallet on that shopping trip – I’m so proud!
Another quick fix is the charity route.
New toy in, child has to pick one to give to charity to go out.
Stops rampant excessive clutter, makes child “compare emotional” worth to things, teaches giving as a part of life. A whole host of others. You may find the child doesn’t want “new” toy cause then s/he’ll have to give up something they love more for non $ reasons.
You’d be surprised how well it works.
Great post. I like the idea of substituting books for gifts. Grandparents and great grands are notorious in our family for buying all the cute, new things………. maybe they will go for books??
I have switched some of the closer family members to buying “experiences” instead of things. We too ran out of room for all the stuff, and the cost to go to events and local attractions has got soooo expensive. But, a gift of annual memberships to any of the places, ie; zoo, Science Ctr, Childrens Museum, Aquarium, etc……are all so much better.
For every new toy your daughter gets, give an older toy to a neighborhood childrens hospital or Salvation Army. There are 13 million kids that live in povery, I’m sure they would love to get some toys.
Great idea on giving one toy away. I think we will start doing that. I really like the message that gives her from a “helping others” standpoint and forcing her to put a value on them.
Books are her favorite thing and we always recommend them as gifts. I think we might try even harder to do that in the future. I wonder if she’s too young for “The Millionaire Next Door” or “Rich Dad, Poor Dad”? :)