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There are some incredibly cringe first date stories out there. I’ve had a few of these experiences myself. However, some of the netizens on Reddit have shared their oddest dates and I can certainly say I’ve never had anything this weird happen to me. Let’s dive into some of the weirdest first-date stories from Reddit.
1. The Date That Peed His Pants
One Redditor detailed one of the worst dates they’ve been on. After realizing their date had peed his pants, they decided there wouldn’t be any future meetups.
My date peed his pants. A grown man peed his pants on our date because he spent the whole time talking himself out of excusing himself to the restroom for fear of being rude… as if we don’t all use the bathroom several times a day. Eventually, it was too much. And he peed himself. And then argued with me the next day when I said I didn’t want to see him again. Wild.
2. The Cheater
It’s never good when you find out that you are on a date with someone who is already engaged. One Reddit user shared their experience on a date with a guy they met on a dating website. While they are on their first date, he takes a call from a girl and tells her that he’s out with his roommate.
He hangs up the phone and says “that was my fiance, but not a real one, just one i’m with for her visa.” At this point I’m already thinking “bloody hell.” He continued on with his excuse “She also lives with me” (in his 2 bed apartment with this other roommate – cosy). “Oh yeah, I should probably tell you i’m getting married in three weeks.”
That’s not even the worst part of it. Once they started pulling on their coat, their date went as far as to ask if they’d help buy them groceries first. How awful!
3. The Oversharer
Match.com has a decent reputation for setting people up, but it’s not always successful. One person shared their experience with meeting a girl they met on Match. The date showed up 20 minutes late and then proceeded to talk… a lot. Eventually, the Redditor said they went to hide in the bathroom and write down as much as they could about the crazy things she was saying.
Topics included, but were not limited to: Daddy issues, her mother loves her brother more, miscarriage, being married before, when “we” start dating, when “we” are married, setting me up with her assistant, how she’ll “fuck me with blood on my face”, things she does when she’s high, Brazilian trance music, adopting children, what’s my dog’s name again, how she doesn’t trust animated movies, why she was 20 minutes late, owning a business, when it’s acceptable to use the c-word, being a vegetarian, her blind cat, her dying uncle, abusive relationships, the city of Tampa, free range urination, and can we order tater tots.
It goes without saying that there was no second date.
4. Somehow This One Worked Out
Religion, politics, salaries, family issues, etc. These topics are usually off-limits for a first date. However, one Redditor shared how their date to the Church of Scientology actually wound up in a successful long-term relationship.
Went to the church of Scientology, roped in with promises of free food. We were on a date for Christmas. So, so odd. They had us take the personality test and tried to break us up. They said we were completely incompatible, to the point of being toxic. We’ve been together 10 years lol
I still wouldn’t suggest taking your date to church, but hey… it worked out for this couple!
5. What Happened?
Sometimes things get hot and heavy during a first date (we’re not judging). A Reddit thread of weird first-date experiences detailed one such encounter, but it ended a bit differently than you’d imagine.
Once had a girl get up and go to the bathroom during a make-out sesh. Came back with her head shaved.
Comments suggested that the woman may have been wearing a wig, but you never know. Maybe she had a full-on 2007 Britney Spears moment.
6. Somebody Call HR
Dating in the workplace is a no-no. This Reddit user tried to resist temptation with a coworker. They were mutually attracted to each other, but he decided to stay friends rather than cross the line. What she did next was insane!
Then she made a fake online dating profile, used her knowledge of my likes/dislikes to attrack me to this profile, carried on extensive communication pretending to be someone else, and then showed up to our date expecting me to suddenly fall head over heels in love with her. She showed up at the date and I asked her what she was doing there, she replied “I think you know why I’m here” and I got in my car and left without saying anything. Eight years later and her cubicle is still 15 feet away from mine.
Talk about awkwardness. Human resources should’ve probably gotten involved.
7. This One Takes Several Turns
When I saw this one, there was no way I could leave it out. Bare with me, it’s a long one, but it’s worth the ride. So, one Reddit user shared their experience on a first date and it started out with a guy picking them up and offering them marijuana. They declined, but their date admitted that they were already high.
The plan for the date was to go to a nearby lake and hang out. However, the pair didn’t want to pay for parking and decided to park what they thought was about a quarter-mile away from the trail. They were dead wrong. It was closer to eight miles. The woman was wearing a sundress and flip-flops. Luckily, an older couple stopped and offered them a ride up the road and also offered to drive them back to their car after they were done at the lake.
Well at the parking lot we took the wrong trail and ended up going to the wrong lake and it was freezing compared. When we walked back the parking lot was empty. So we started walking the 8 miles back and it was starting to get dark. (We also realized he locked his phone and keys in the truck and mine died because service was sketchy)
We run into this lady who is literally running with wolves. All the wolves are fucked up, like missing a leg or an eye. She starts yelling that they’re friendly so we’re like petting some random a** wolves now. Apparently she rehabs wolves and has to take them on a few mile run several times a day.
We explain our situation and she offers to let us use her phone and follow her back to her house. She starts running through the woods so I’m chasing after her in my flip flops.
We get to her house and one of the wolves just runs off and she’s like “Oh no! The neighbors hate it when this happen!” Like I f*cking bet lady. She lets us in her house but it’s all dark and apparently one of the wolves left a big old pile of sh*t in the house which my date steps in barefoot. So now were outside hosing his foot off when AAA arrives.
The date ended up with them hooking up, but even that was crazy. At some point, he asks his date, “Would you like to play with c*ckasaurus?” About a year later, she saw him on the cover of a magazine and relived the entire experience.
Do you have any bizarre first-date stories? Share them in the comments!
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Drew Blankenship is a former Porsche technician who writes and develops content full-time. He lives in North Carolina, where he enjoys spending time with his wife and two children. While Drew no longer gets his hands dirty modifying Porsches, he still loves motorsport and avidly watches Formula 1.