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Nobody wants to be the person others secretly avoid, but sometimes, bad social habits can push people away without us realizing it. Whether it’s how we communicate, react, or engage with others, small behaviors can make a big difference in how we’re perceived. The good news? These habits are fixable with self-awareness and effort. If you’ve ever felt like people are drifting away from you or not responding as warmly as before, you might be guilty of one of these social missteps. Here are six habits that could be making you unlikable—and how to fix them.
1. Interrupting Others Mid-Conversation
Nobody likes being cut off when they’re talking, yet so many people do it without thinking. Interrupting signals that you believe your thoughts are more important than the speaker’s, which can come off as dismissive and rude. Even if your intent is to share excitement or add value to the conversation, constant interruptions make people feel unheard. Instead, practice active listening—let others finish their thoughts before responding. A short pause before you speak can also help ensure you’re not jumping in too soon. If you struggle with interrupting, remind yourself that good conversations are about balance, not dominance.
2. Always Steering Conversations Back to Yourself
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It’s natural to relate to others by sharing your own experiences, but constantly making discussions about yourself can turn people off. If a friend talks about a recent trip, and you immediately bring up your own, it can seem like you’re not truly interested in their story. Conversations should be a two-way street, not a personal highlight reel. Instead, ask follow-up questions and show genuine interest in what the other person is saying. A good rule of thumb is to listen twice as much as you speak. People appreciate those who make them feel heard rather than those who always take center stage.
3. Complaining Too Much
Everyone needs to vent sometimes, but if negativity dominates your conversations, people may start avoiding you. Constant complaints about work, relationships, or everyday annoyances can drain the energy out of any social setting. While it’s okay to share frustrations, balance is key—make sure you’re also contributing positivity. Try shifting your focus to gratitude and solutions rather than just problems. If you catch yourself complaining frequently, challenge yourself to go a day without it. Positivity is contagious, and people naturally gravitate toward those who uplift them.
4. Being Constantly Distracted by Your Phone
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Few things are more frustrating than talking to someone who is glued to their phone. Checking messages or scrolling through social media while someone is speaking makes them feel unimportant. It signals that you’d rather be somewhere else, which can damage relationships over time. Make a habit of keeping your phone away during face-to-face interactions. If you must check it, let the other person know beforehand and keep it brief. Giving people your full attention makes them feel valued and strengthens your social connections.
5. One-Upping Others in Conversations
Have you ever shared a story, only for someone to immediately respond with something “bigger” or “better”? One-upping can make people feel like their experiences don’t matter. Whether it’s achievements, hardships, or funny moments, constantly trying to top someone else’s story can come across as competitive rather than engaging. Instead of always adding your own version, celebrate and acknowledge what the other person is saying. Try responding with phrases like, “That’s amazing! Tell me more.” When you focus on connection rather than comparison, conversations become more enjoyable for everyone.
6. Ignoring Social Cues and Boundaries
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Not everyone is comfortable with the same level of interaction, and failing to read social cues can make people uncomfortable. Talking too loudly, standing too close, oversharing, or not knowing when to leave a conversation are all habits that can push people away. Pay attention to body language—if someone looks disengaged or keeps glancing away, it may be time to wrap things up. Likewise, respect when someone needs space or doesn’t want to discuss a particular topic. Understanding and respecting boundaries will make you a more considerate and likable person.
Small Changes Can Make a Big Difference
Being likable isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being mindful of how you interact with others. Interrupting, complaining, and being distracted by your phone are small habits that can have a big impact on your social life. By making simple adjustments, like practicing active listening and showing genuine interest in others, you can strengthen your relationships. People naturally gravitate toward those who make them feel valued and respected. The good news? These habits are all fixable. Start making small changes today, and watch your social connections improve.
Read More:
10 Ways Social Media Is Quietly Making Us More Anxious and Insecure
The Social Media Trap: 10 Ways Likes and Shares Re-wire Our Self-Esteem
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