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Happy marriages require a lot of effort. My wife and I are coming up on our sixth wedding anniversary this month and I know that not everyone makes it this far. We’ve seen several of our friends marry and divorce already (and we’re only in our 30s). Although we love each other very much, it’s easy to fall into patterns that make us feel like we are stuck in a rut. Ultimately, this kind of behavior breeds resentment and conflict, which isn’t something either of us wants present in our relationship. So, if you are fighting silent battles in your marriage, make sure you aren’t making these four mistakes.
1. Avoiding Difficult Conversations
No one benefits from sweeping issues under the rug. Your goal in your marriage shouldn’t be to just keep the peace. Difficult conversations will actually strengthen your relationship over time. However, if you avoid them, it can build resentment. You might also notice your partner suddenly engaging in passive-aggressive behavior. In the end, it turns small disagreements into major conflicts. Healthy, happy marriages thrive on open, honest communication, even when the discussions aren’t comfortable.
2. Taking Each Other for Granted
Falling into routines can make it easy to overlook your partner’s efforts and contributions. Expressing gratitude might feel unnecessary when things are going smoothly, but neglecting appreciation can cause feelings of neglect. Small gestures like thanking your partner for cooking dinner or acknowledging their support go a long way. When gratitude disappears, so does the sense of being seen and valued, creating emotional distance.
3. Letting Stress Take Control
External stressors, like work pressures or financial concerns, can seep into your marriage if not managed properly. When stress takes over, it often results in irritability, short tempers, and misdirected frustration. Venting frustrations on your partner creates a hostile environment where even minor disagreements feel amplified. Recognizing the impact of stress and openly discussing its effects can prevent it from causing lasting damage.
4. Neglecting Physical Affection
This is a big thing in our marriage. My love language is physical touch and, even though it’s not my wife’s love language, we ensure that we never neglect physical affection. This goes beyond intimacy. It is a powerful way to communicate your love for one another. Busy schedules and everyday stress can get in the way, but it will wind up making you feel distant from your partner. Small, simple things can make a huge difference. Hold hands, hug, kiss each other. If there is a lack of physical touch, your significant other might think it means there is a lack of interest, which can make them feel insecure and doubt your relationship.
Small Changes, Big Impact
You don’t have to be perfect to have a happy marriage. However, you do need to pay attention to some of the small habits that are contributing to your overall happiness. Even the smallest things can build upon or break your bond. So, if you realized that you are making some of these mistakes, it’s time to address them within your relationship. Remember, being proactive will ultimately protect the happiness of your marriage in the long run.
Read More
How Using “Always” and “Never” Will Destroy Your Marriage
7 Hurtful Behaviors That You Can Change to Break Toxic Patterns
Drew Blankenship is a former Porsche technician who writes and develops content full-time. He lives in North Carolina, where he enjoys spending time with his wife and two children. While Drew no longer gets his hands dirty modifying Porsches, he still loves motorsport and avidly watches Formula 1.
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