Navigating the dating world and trying to find your soulmate can be challenging. Some people aren’t looking for serious relationships and aren’t entirely honest about their intentions. On dating apps or at bars, there may even be married men who lie and pretend to be single to get a chance with you. If you’re concerned that the man you’re dating is already committed to someone else, here are ten signs to watch out for.
1. Secretive Behavior
If he’s overly secretive about his personal life, avoids introducing you to his friends or family, and hesitates to share details about his day-to-day activities, it could be a bad sign. This is especially true if you’ve been dating for a while.
It’s understandable if a single father doesn’t want to introduce you to his kids right away. However, if you’ve been in a relationship for a while and feel like you’re being hidden from his loved ones, it may be a sign the man you’re dating is married.
2. Limited Availability
A married man may only be available at certain times, like on his lunch break or late at night. If he constantly makes excuses for why he can’t see you outside of a limited window, it might indicate he’s spending the rest of his time with his wife and kids.
Another red flag is never being able to spend the holidays together. If you’ve been dating for years but have never been invited to his family Thanksgiving, it’s possible he could be celebrating those occasions with his nuclear family.
3. No Public Presence
Married men are usually cautious about being spotted with their affair partners to avoid suspicion. It’s a red flag if he avoids being seen with you in public places where you might encounter people who know him.
Additionally, does he avoid posting about you on social media? Think twice if he discourages you from sharing photos of your dates. Some men are private and like to keep their personal life offline. But he shouldn’t get mad at you for sharing a few pics on Instagram.
4. Guarded Communication
A married man won’t communicate with you regularly. He might avoid phone calls or texts during evenings or weekends to prevent his spouse from discovering his affair. When he does message you, it might seem hurried or cryptic.
He may also guard his phone closely and become defensive if you try to touch it. Married men often keep their phones locked to prevent their spouses from discovering incriminating evidence, such as call logs.
5. Unexplained Absences
Another sign the man you’re dating is married is that he disappears without explanation. When he resurfaces, he may claim he was busy with work. These disappearances could possibly coincide with family-related events with his wife and children, so it’s a potential red flag.
Regardless, a loving partner wouldn’t ghost you for days or weeks at a time without advanced notice or good reason. Even if the man you’re dating isn’t married, this may be a reason to reconsider your relationship.
6. No Future Plans
One of the major signs the man you’re dating is married is avoidance of long-term plans. He dodges conversations about your future, such as moving in together. His unwillingness to discuss goals and dreams with you is a red flag. It’s also concerning if he doesn’t want to take your relationship to the next level, especially after months of dating.
7. Inconsistent Stories
If his stories about his life seem to change or contradict each other, it could be a sign that he’s trying to cover up details about his marriage. Pay attention to inconsistencies in his explanations for things like his living situation, schedule, and relationships with friends and family.
He may also mess up when he talks about his past if he’s trying to erase his spouse from the timeline of events he’s sharing with you. Catching him in a web of lies that he can’t talk his way out of could be a red flag that he’s married.
8. Refusal To Take You Home
A man who’s lying about his marital status may not be able to show you where he lives very often or at all because of his wife. He may bring you to hotels and restaurants frequently to avoid taking you home.
Your partner might also be hesitant to share his address with you. He may fear that you’ll show up at an inopportune time and discover his family. It could be suspicious if he’s always asking to meet up at his office or public places, but never at home.
9. Emotional Unavailability
A man who already has a wife may seem emotionally distant or unavailable. If he’s investing all of his emotional energy into his wife and family, he might not have much left over for you.
It’s also a red flag if he’s unwilling to discuss serious topics, such as his feelings or the future of your relationship. It could be a cause for concern if your connection seems surface-level even after months or years of dating.
10. Signs of a Ring
According to LovePanky, you should look for signs of a ring to determine if the man you’re dating is married. When you hold your man’s hand, does it seem like he has a groove on his ring finger from wearing a wedding band? Also, if he has a tan line on his ring finger, it could be because he’s married.
Watch his hands closely to see if he ever slips up and leaves his ring on. You may even catch him in the act of slyly trying to slide his wedding band off before you notice it. If he tries to play off what looks like a wedding band as a treasured gift from a friend, it’s still wise to be suspicious.
You Deserve Honesty in a Relationship
Being aware of the signs the man you’re dating is married can save you from heartbreak and wasted time in a relationship that isn’t what it seems. Trust your instincts and pay attention to any red flags that arise.
If you notice several of these signs in the man you’re dating, it’s crucial to have an open and honest conversation with him about your concerns. Ultimately, you deserve honesty and respect in a relationship. By being vigilant, you can ensure that you find someone who truly values you.
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Vicky Monroe is a freelance personal finance and lifestyle writer. When she’s not busy writing about her favorite money saving hacks or tinkering with her budget spreadsheets, she likes to travel, garden, and cook healthy vegetarian meals.