According to The Street, most parents would allow their adult Millennial and Gen Z children to move back home. However, every family dynamic is different, so multi-generational living may not work for certain households. Some Gen Xers may feel that living at home prevents emerging adults from learning necessary life skills and lessons. Here are 14 reasons why some parents are pushing their kids out of the nest.
1. Tough Love Approach
Many Gen Xers were parented with a tough love approach and pushed out of the nest once they became adults. They may believe that this experience taught them key skills such as self-reliance and persistence. To instill similar values in the next generation, some Gen Xers are encouraging their adult children to live independently instead of moving back home.
2. Space Constraints
Some Gen Xers would have no problem with their adult children moving back home, but they simply don’t have space. Parents who are living in a one bedroom apartment, small home, or RV can’t accommodate their kids, forcing them to find other living arrangements.
3. Kids Aren’t Contributing Financially
Space isn’t the only concern when adult children move back home. Their presence can cause utility and food bills to skyrocket. If they aren’t contributing to the household finances, Gen X parents may need to give them an ultimatum: pay your fair share or move out.
4. Gen X Needs To Focus On Retirement
Gen X ranges in age from about 44 to 59. Now that this generation is approaching retirement, they may need to shift their financial focus from helping their adult children to investing for their golden years. Having adult kids at home may be preventing Gen Xers from downsizing and saving money, which they can’t afford to do at this stage in their lives. Although it’s hard to ask your kids to leave, it’s something Gen X might need to do to secure their own financial future.
5. Failure To Launch
Some Gen Xers may be dealing with adult children who have lived at home for years and failed to launch. Emerging adults who have parental support might not be motivated to work hard and succeed. Sometimes removing that soft place to land is the only way to light a fire under adult children to get their life together.
6. Lack Of Respect For Rules And Boundaries
When you share a space with your parents, you still have to respect their rules and boundaries even though you’re an adult. You can’t come home at all hours and leave messes everywhere for your parents to clean up. Adult children who fail to follow their Gen X parents’ rules may need to be kicked out to learn a tough lesson about respect.
7. Relationship Dynamics
Sometimes parents and adult children can’t find a way to share a space peacefully. There may be constant arguments due to conflicting personalities and disagreements over household chores. If it’s been nothing but fighting since move-in day, Gen X parents may have no choice but to ask their kids to leave.
8. Deeper Issues
Gen X parents may not have the resources to help a child with deeper issues such as addiction or mental health problems. To support their healing, they might need to receive inpatient care or move to a therapeutic group home.
9. Fostering Financial Independence
Emerging adults who live at home may miss out on building money management and budgeting skills. If Gen Xers see their kids developing bad habits like overspending, they may encourage them to move out so they can learn financial responsibility.
10. Empty Nest Dreams
Parents put their dreams on hold to raise their children. Now that their kids are adults, Gen Xers can finally put their desires and goals first. Gen Xers who crave peace and quiet may not want to share their space during this next stage of their lives. After years of putting your family first, it’s not selfish to want some well-deserved “me time.”
11. Encouraging Career Advancement
In our global economy, sometimes the best career advancement opportunities aren’t available in your hometown. Gen X may be pushing their kids from the nest to encourage them to see the world, find better jobs, and chase their dreams.
12. Relocation
Gen Xers themselves may want to relocate for a better job, nicer climate, or higher quality of life. It can be hard for adult kids when their parents sell their childhood home full of memories, but it’s part of growing up.
13. It’s Time
Another reason Gen X is kicking their kids out is because it’s simply time. You can’t live with your parents forever. At some point, you have to strike out on your own and forge your own path. Gen Xers may worry that allowing their kids to live with them into their late 20s and 30s will foster codependency and stagnate their personal growth.
14. Differing Cultural Norms
When Gen X grew up, it wasn’t common for adults to live with their parents well into their twenties. As such, Gen Xers may expect their kids to spread their wings and move out after high school or college.
Do What’s Best For Your Family
Only you know what’s best for your family. Although many parents are allowing their adult children to move back home, that may not be the right choice for your kids based on their personalities and challenges. If you think that living with mom and dad will prevent your kids from developing into independent adults, it might be better to gently push them out of the nest.
Read More
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Vicky Monroe is a freelance personal finance and lifestyle writer. When she’s not busy writing about her favorite money saving hacks or tinkering with her budget spreadsheets, she likes to travel, garden, and cook healthy vegetarian meals.