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A growing trend of “gray divorce” is sweeping the nation. According to Katie Couric Media, a 2021 report found that Baby Boomers got divorced at twice the rate of any other age group during the previous year. Although long-term marriages are less likely to end in divorce, Boomers are bucking this norm. Here are 14 surprising reasons why more older Americans are ending their marriages.
1. Infidelity
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Believe it or not, the rate of infidelity actually increases with age. According to AARP, women are most likely to be unfaithful in their 60s and men in their 70s. As a result, infidelity might be one of the reasons behind the increased rate of gray divorce.
2. Lockdown Revealed Incompatibility
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During the lockdown, couples spent more time together than ever. Although some couples thrived, others realized that they were fundamentally incompatible. Throughout the pandemic, divorce was logistically difficult to arrange. But now that the worst of the pandemic is behind us, unhappy Boomers have finally been able to separate from their spouses and move on with their lives.
3. Health Issues
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As they get older, some Baby Boomers are developing more serious health issues, leading to relationship strain. Spouses who have to step in as caretakers may feel overwhelmed by their new responsibilities.
Men in particular struggle with the changes serious illness can bring to the dynamics of a marriage. In fact, men are more likely to seek divorce when their spouse becomes ill than women in the same position.
4. Peer Influence
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Shockingly, couples whose friends have split up experience a 75% increased risk of divorce themselves as a result. According to Forbes, divorce can spread through a social circle. This form of peer influence may help explain why Boomers are splitting up at record rates.
5. Late in Life Domestic Violence
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Although domestic violence is often associated with younger couples, it can still occur late in life. Sadly about 4 million older Americans are victims of abuse or neglect each year. Unfortunately, it’s possible for a relationship to become unsafe even after years of marriage, causing the need for separation or divorce.
6. The Kids Are Grown
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Many people in unhappy marriages feel obligated to stay together for the sake of their children. Now that the majority of Boomers are empty-nesters, they can prioritize their own well-being and happiness by ending unfulfilling relationships.
7. Boomers Got Married Younger
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On average, Boomers got married younger than the generations that followed. Getting married at a young age is a risk factor for divorce because couples that marry early are more likely to grow in different directions. Now that the kids are out of the house, Boomer couples may be discovering that they’re no longer compatible and deciding to split up.
8. People Are Living Longer
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People are living much longer, giving them plenty of time to enjoy a fulfilling “third act.” As Boomers contemplate how they want to spend the next few decades, they may decide that they want to make changes in their lives.
Whether they long for a more satisfying relationship or a season of personal growth, some Boomers may realize that their next chapter doesn’t involve their current spouse. Although it’s sad to leave a marriage behind, sometimes divorce is a necessary part of life’s journey.
9. Family Pressure Is Gone
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Family pressure can sometimes make it difficult to leave a marriage. Many Boomers had traditional Silent or Greatest Generation parents who may not have believed in or supported divorce. Boomers whose parents have passed on may now feel free to break up with their spouse without fear of disappointing their family.
10. Divorce Is No Longer Stigmatized
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Divorce used to be stigmatized, which may have prevented some Boomers from splitting up a few decades ago. Now that ending a marriage is a common event, older Americans might be more willing to pursue this option, helping explain the recent influx of gray divorces.
11. Many Boomers Are Remarried
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Divorce rates tend to be higher for people who have been remarried several times. Since Boomers are in their sixties and seventies, they’re more likely to be on their second or third marriages, which end more often than first marriages.
12. Money Problems
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Many younger Baby Boomers (roughly 40%) don’t have retirement savings. Money problems are one of the leading causes of divorce, so the Boomer retirement crisis may be contributing to their high divorce rate.
13. Addiction Issues
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As we get older, we can become more vulnerable to addiction. Changes to the brain can make us more sensitive to medications, increasing the chances that we’ll misuse prescriptions. Addiction issues can wreak havoc on a marriage and end in divorce.
14. Boomer Women Are More Independent
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Boomer women are more financially independent than previous generations, which empowers them to walk away from subpar relationships. Although leaving a dual-income household can set women back financially, divorce may be worth the financial hit. After all, money can’t make up for an unsatisfying relationship.
15. Major Life Disruptions
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Major traumas such as losing a child or living through a natural disaster can cause marriages to break down. Sometimes the challenges life throws at a relationship are too difficult to overcome, causing irreconcilable differences to develop.
There Is Life After Divorce
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Divorce is one of the hardest things many people have to go through. But on the other side, a richer and fuller life may be waiting. Although splitting up is a tough decision for many Boomers, it can ultimately be a positive one.
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Vicky Monroe is a freelance personal finance and lifestyle writer. When she’s not busy writing about her favorite money saving hacks or tinkering with her budget spreadsheets, she likes to travel, garden, and cook healthy vegetarian meals.