It was something I had been thinking about for a while but wanted to feel one hundred percent confident about when I did. So I did it on a whim when I felt ready. Jamie and I went and bought a marriage certificate and had my old boss make it official for us. (Total cost $62.50!)
And now we’re to the point where we’re trying to get all of our assets combined.
I personally feel that when you get married you should combine all of your finances. I speak from both sides of the equation: having a failed marriage and now feeling like I’ve truly found my life partner.
You Need to Be on the Same Page Financially
I am incredibly lucky that Jamie and I have the same financial mindset. He absolutely despises debt, even more so than I do.
He thinks things like car loans, credit card debt, and any other form of consumer debt is silly. He’s right on track retirement wise (thanks to a pension) and even saves extra in another retirement account. On top of that he pays extra on his mortgage every single month.
For me this is a match made in heaven!
Coming from a failed relationship where I wasn’t on the same page with my significant other, having the same money mindset with another person was a must for me.
No, relationships aren’t about money but if you and your significant other are on two completely different pages when it comes to finance it can lead to disaster. And believe me, I’m speaking from experience.
The Way You Communicate About Money Says A lot
Communication is such a big part of a relationship. If you can’t communicate about money then what can you communicate about?
Problems need to be worked out in a relationship. If you can’t go to your significant other and express your concerns or come up with a team plan it’s hard to make the rest of your relationship work.
When you combine your finances you’re forced to communicate.
Combing Your Finances Promotes Team Work
In my first marriage there was no team work on anything. We had totally different life views. I wanted to save money and he wanted to buy a new car or lawn mower each year. I wanted to save for retirement and he wanted to say “I’ll be working until the day I die.” There was no gray area. Everything was black and white. We didn’t communicate we simply took on the roles that allowed us to co-exist in the same house.
I don’t say this because I hate my ex-husband because I really, really don’t. He and I are still friends and he is an amazing dad. But as far as being a partner it just didn’t work.
Now life is different. Since Jamie and I are so in sync with each other it’s easy for us to work as a team toward what we want. In the past two years we’ve been together there’s been plenty of give and take and I feel like we are a true team.
Combining finances and working toward the same goals improves that unity anymore.
A healthy relationship isn’t about one person – it’s about being a team. And whether we like it or not money IS a huge part of life. To me it just doesn’t seem possible to be a team without combining finances.