A little over a month ago my wife, daughter and I traveled over to our friends cabin in the mountains about 2.5 hours away. The cabin is a beautiful home situated on the banks of a river in a neighborhood of other cabins. Since it was late November, there was plenty of snow on the ground and we spent some time sledding down the long hill in front of the place.
When we first got out to the hill for the first time, we noticed there were about 7-8 people sledding already. In order to get the best possible run, they were backing way up the hill on to another person’s property. By doing this they were able to extend the run and get going faster. Just as we were arriving to the top of the hill the other sledders told us that they’d been asked to leave because the owner of the property didn’t want people sledding there. I looked at my friend and said, “bummer†and proceeded to turn around to head down. My friend had a different idea. He said to me, “We’ve been sledding on this hill for years in the winter time and no one has ever cared. I’m going to go talk to the people!†He then proceeded to walk over to the person’s house with his 4 year old son in tow. As he was heading over there I thought to myself, “Hmmm, I wonder if the people are going to be rude and just tell him to leave?â€. Yes, my first thought was about how the “NO†would be delivered.
My friend, who is a successful business owner, had a different view. He intended on talking to the people and seeing if he could get them to change their mind and let us sled on their property.
About 4 minutes later, my friend came around the corner of the house with a smile on his face and said, “No problem! We can sled here.†I was a bit surprised and asked him, “Really?â€. It turns out that the people there were annoyed with the previous sledders (who had already left by then). They weren’t being considerate and respectful of the property owner’s yard, had been letting their dog defecate in the yard and had left trash behind. As he was telling me this, it all started to make sense. It wasn’t that the people didn’t like people sledding on their hill, rather it was that they didn’t like THOSE people sledding on their hill.
As we started up the hill to take our first run, I couldn’t help but shake my head. I had just experienced a great example of why my friend was successful. Sure, he’s a hard worker and very smart, but he also wasn’t afraid of someone saying no. Instead of dreading the potential conflict, he saw it as a challenge to change the people’s minds. I thought about how many times that skill had probably helped him with his business and realized that is just one of those things that can really make an entrepreneur successful. People who sit on the sidelines worried about what “could†happen, only get to realize one outcome. Failure. It’s the people that don’t sweat “no†and push forward with what they want to do that ultimately have the best chance of success!
I actually taught a former boss this lesson. He was a small business owner, very hands on, and if a customer said “Yeah we know this usually takes five days, but can you do it in three?” he would work nights, sacrifice sleep, etc. Every time. I came in, took over some of the customers, and while I didn’t just say ‘no’ to those types of requests, I would point out the benefits of doing it properly (having resources there in business hours, making sure there were no errors, etc.). After seeing me handle it, my boss complimented me on it and said that he had always been afraid to say NO in any way, but after watching me work, he knew it could be done diplomatically, and I think he got a lot more sleep after that :)