Maybe you know this, or maybe you don’t. Giving money to someone that needs it more than you do is TOP NOTCH. Now, I give money to my church (that I don’t attend very often) every month. That doesn’t necessarily feel all that good. That’s more like paying a monthly subscription to your religion. I’m talking about giving money directly to someone that can use it for basic life needs right at that moment.
Last weekend, my wife and daughter and I went in to the city to go to a childrens museum. This children’s museum happens to be right by a large community area that has lots of restaurants. Some homeless people tend to hang out there to warm up and just exist somewhere that it isn’t rainy and cold. After going to the museum, we decided to get something to eat in this large indoor area. While we were sitting there, I noticed that there was a man sitting at a table about ten feet away. He was just sitting there and wasn’t bothering anyone. It was obvious he hadn’t slept a ton (who would when you are homeless). I watched him for awhile and then saw his friend come sit down with him. As I sat there with my family, I couldn’t get over something that I’d heard a homeless person say years ago. He said, “When you are homeless, it’s like you don’t exist. People will go out of their way to make sure they don’t acknowledge you. They fear you. They fear you may ask them for something”. These guys were obviously hungry and they weren’t asking anyone for anything as they sat there. I decided that I wanted to give them $20. At first I thought, “what if they use it to buy alcohol?” Then I decided I didn’t care what they used it for. As I approached them I had a terrible thought. “What if these guys aren’t homeless? What if they are just not very clean, and are hanging out there for the day?” I hesitated and wandered around a bit as I worked it out in my head. I was nervous. What if they reacted terribly to my offer. What if they felt like I was putting them down by giving them money? I finally got up the nerve and walked up to them and said, “Hey guys. Can you use a $20?” They looked at me for a second and then smiled and said. “Yes, we sure can”. I handed them the $20 and told them to take care. What surprised me was how long I felt good about doing that. Had they asked me for the money I would have said, NO.
We left and did a few things. About 30 minutes later, as we were passing through the same area again, I glanced over and saw them both sitting there with large plates of food that were just about finished off. I felt satisfaction and relief that they’d put that money to good use and had filled their stomachs.
I highly recommend you do this once in awhile. I’m going to do it a lot more often than I used to. I’m also going to make a point to acknowledge people on the street that are less fortunate than I am. I probably won’t give them all money, but I will let them know that they aren’t invisible.
Good post Hazzard…I do this type of thing too when the opportunity strikes and it “feels right”. Earlier this year a guy stopped my friend and I on the street — he clearly wasn’t homeless….just looked like a basic, middle class guy, but he was clearly distraught. He was babbling something about a car, and needing gas and I had to ask him twice “what do you need?” He finally settled down and said “$10 or so…for gas…maybe $11”. So I gave him the $11 … he was really grateful and wanted a way to pay me back, but I just asked him to pay it forward…to do something nice for someone when he could. He just looked so relieved and was dumbstruck that i didnt want it back.
The thing that struck me, was not my interchange with this guy, but how some coworkers, upon hearing the story branded me a “sucker”. The one in particular (who used that exact word) has much more money than I do LOL I just remember thinking “damn. that’s cold.” It just felt like the right thing to do…that my $11 somehow made a difference to that guy in that moment and that’s what was important to me.
And incidentally, I’ve “found” and been given (by strangers!) way more money than the $11 I handed out this year ;)
This is a great post. As you and Caitlin both pointed out, it is really important not to forget that there are people less privileged than you who can use a helping hand from time to time. You can also look into volunteer opportunities in local soup kitchens (they always need people around thanksgiving & christmas) and shelters. I volunteer at a couple of places including the Young Adult Homeless Center and although it can be stressful at times it is always, always rewarding. I love volunteering because you are not just giving money but your experience, knowledge, empathy and even network connections as well on occasions and in the case of young adults in particular, a chance for them to turn their life around.
Great post. It is amazing how a few dollars can change the outlook of someone’s day. I also enjoy giving to those who do not expect or ask for anything. It is a fine line between someone who needs help and those that are “scamming”, but sometimes you have to just take the chance.
Hey Haz,
Thanks for the uplifiting comment you left on my blog…wow!
I think “giving” away money is a fun thing to do, especially when not asked.
Last year for Christmas, my family (my mom, dad, sister, bro in law, and wife) pooled our
resources, and instead of buying a bunch of gifts for each other, we bought a lady in our
hometown a car. Giving her the keys on Christmas afternoon was one of the highlites of
my adult life. Awesome, awesome, awesome.!
Keep up the good blogging…
ncnblog.com
I’ve had a similar encounter before and then learned that I was suckered. (The person from out of town that needed my help later asked me for help weeks later with the exact same story, and I had seen her walking around smoking cigareetes in the intervening weeks in the same area.) It was clear that she had lied to me, and it made me question whether other times when I had given money that the person was lying. I really haven’t given any money in those type of circumstances since then. (Well, except for maybe one time when I was virtually certain that the person was not lying.)