Over the last few months my wife and I have been watching the implosion of some acquaintances of ours. Let’s call them Jack and Kris. When we first saw Jack and Kris we thought they were doing well. They drove two nice cars, had a nice new house and always dressed well. As we learned more about them, it was clear they were spending money to really enjoy life. Unfortunately, it turns out that they weren’t spending their money. In a span of about nine months, they went from appearing to live the dream to living the nightmare. We recently learned that they are losing their home, declaring bankruptcy and getting divorced. Apparently the image that they tried to project outward was a sham. They weren’t happily married and they were in debt far beyond what they could afford.
For awhile I wondered how they ended up spiraling down but then the stories started coming out. A mutual friend, who tends to share more than she should, told us that most of the issues centered around the husband’s desire to try to appear successful. He insisted on having a wardrobe full of designer clothes. Together they bought a nice new house and he insisted that they fill it with beautiful, new furniture. It was essential for him to drive nice, newer cars and he had to golf and travel as though he was an heir to the Hilton estate (minus the sexual escapades that seem to go along with that). There was only one problem with his desire to spend so much money on trivial things. He didn’t have much. His wife has a stable job working for the government and makes a modest living but he has bounced from job to job (5 in the last 2 years). Now he’s working part time at a retail store. He’s still trying to keep the image up though. He still has his wardrobe and is managing to keep the car for now. If you were to run in to him on the street, you’d have no idea his life was in such a shambles and that he was literally broke. If not for the part time cash flow, I think he’d be couch surfing. Last I heard, he’s headed in that direction.
I think we all know couples and families like that. They’re the ones who absolutely MUST hit bottom before they figure out they’ve been doing it all wrong.
And I’d be fibbing if I said I didn’t get just a little joy from watching some of these financial train wrecks over the years. (A lot of times, these same couples have horrific attitudes to go along with their financial dumbassery.)
This all reminds me of the book The Millionaire Next Door, where the authors describe people as “under accumulators of wealth” (UAWs). UAWs live above their means and spend money before they have it.
By the way, that little bit of joy that Michael feels is called “schadenfreude” in German. It means pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others.